Siriusly Padfoot
by In Love Siriusly
Summary: Natalie mourns over her dead fiancee. Remus loves Natalie but can never tell her. Ginny wonders what life in the 70s was like. The Marauders' seventh year at Hogwarts unfolds. The story of Remus' life with Natalie is told. SBOC. Rated M for later chapters
1. Dreaming

Chapter One: Dreaming

Sirius Black grabbed his girlfriend Natalie Thompson's hand, pulling her out of her seat. "Come one let's dance." Natalie smiled, and walked to the middle of the dance floor, her hand still clasped in Sirius'. Sirius took her in his arms, and the couple began to dance.

James Potter looked at them from his seat close to the dance floor, and grinned as if he was keeping a secret. Everyone could see that Sirius and Natalie were madly in love with each other. Most people new that Sirius did some pretty weird stuff at times, and wasn't afraid of anything. The only ones that knew what Sirius was about to do were James and Remus.

When the song ended, Sirius let go of Natalie, and said, "Hold on love, I'll be right back." He grinned at her, and walked off in the opposite direction. Natalie was confused, and walked over to James. "Do you know where Sirius went?" "No idea…" James put on an innocent look, which caused Natalie to look at him questioningly. "James Potter I know you-." Natalie was cut off when a loud voice yelled out, "Natalie!" Natalie turned around in the direction of the voice, and saw that Sirius was yelling at her from on top of a table. "Sirius, what are you bloody doing?" "Nat just come here." He yelled. Natalie walked up to the table where he was standing, extremely confused. "What is going on here?" Sirius smiled, and got down on one knee, pulling a box out of his pocket as he did so. "Natalie Thompson, I love you. Marry me?" Natalie turned bright red, and stared at the ground. Sirius lifted her chin with his hand, and stared straight into her eyes, waiting for a response. "Of course." She smiled at him. Sirius got off the table, and picked Natalie up, swinging her around happily….


	2. Crying For The Death of Your Heart

Chapter 2- Crying for The Death of Your Heart

For the past week or so, my dreams have been various memories involving Sirius. Each night I went to sleep thinking of him, dreamt about him, and usually to woke up to discover that I had cried in my sleep. It felt like there was a huge whole in my heart where Sirius had been. My brain had re-ordered itself: the right side contained memories and thoughts only involving Sirius. The left contained every thing else. "Stop it Natalie!" I scolded myself. "He's gone now, he'll never come back..." I didn't want to believe he was dead; Sirius was my true love, and I was his. Even though that does sound cheesy, it's true. Remus is (thankfully) still around, but it would be wonderful to have everyone back. Remus is my best guy friend, but he's just not Sirius. Tears started sliding down my cheeks; I tried holding them back. My weak attempt failed, and I ended up sobbing uncontrollably into my pillow.

A few minutes later, when the crying had slowed down, I heard footsteps approaching my room. I wiped off the remaining tears with my bed sheet, and put on a fake smile. "Natalie, are you ok?" Remus had walked into my room. He seemed genuinely concerned. In my head, I knew Remus knew what I was about say. "Not really...I was just thinking of..him.." I couldn't say Sirius. If I did, I'd probably cry again. I didn't want Remus to see me cry again. When most people asked me if I was ok, I'd lie and answer yes in hopes they'd leave me alone. But I couldn't lie to Remus, even if the lie was small. Remus didn't say anything for a while, until i heard him mutter, "Sorry." He understood what I was going through, Sirius' death had deeply affected him as well. Sirius was a best friend to him, a fellow Marauder. "Don't be sorry, it's not your fault." I smiled wearily at him, not caring that tears were now pouring down my cheeks like rain. Remus reached over, and gently wiped the tears off my right cheek. His hand lingered for a few seconds, "I hate seeing you like this." I couldn't help but grin. He was still the same shy, quiet, and considerate Remus John Lupin that I loved. Now when I say _loved_ I mean it in a friendly way. No where close to the love I shared with Sirius. The memory of our first kiss popped up in my head, and I started to cry once more. Remus pulled me into a loose hug and let me cry into his shirt. To stop the tears, I immediately switched my thoughts to someone else who had been on my mind lately. That person was Harry.

Harry had been affected by Sirius' death as deeply as I had. Harry kept alot of his emotions locked up inside at times. Which was not a good thing. I've known Sirius for 25 years, while Harry has only known him for 2. But his death affected the both of us greatly. That made me realize that we all have a great capacity to love someone, even if we've only know the person for a short time. I stopped crying, and let go of Remus. As I moved away, he pulled out his wand, pointing it at his shirt. "Scourgify!" I would _never_ have thought of that. "You were always the smart one Lupin. I would've cleaned it the Muggle way." I laughed, for the first time in a while. Remus just rolled his eyes. Typical. "Remus I was wondering about Harry.." I paused, and fidgeted with my night gown. "How is he?" It was only a couple of days into the break, and the Harry hadn't arrived at Grimmauld Place yet. I suspected the Advance Guard would go pick him up soon. "He seems to be doing fine. He hasn't mentioned much about Sirius in his letters though. I suspect he'll want to talk with us when he arrives." "I hope he's not as much of a wreck as I am now." I smiled at Remus, who smiled back and stood up. "Listen Natalie, I'm going to head downstairs for breakfast. Are you coming?" "No, I'm not hungry. But thanks for the offer." "I'll see you later then.."

Remus got to the doorway of my room when I tapped him on the shoulder, causing him to turn around. I hugged him, and said, "Thanks." He looked at me quizzically. "For what?" "For being there for me when I need it." I said with a smile. He grinned, "Your welcome." I released him from the hug, and walked to my bed. Sitting down, I could've sworn I heard Remus say to himself, "Anything for you Natalie..." I thought about what he said, and came to the conclusion that I must have heard him wrong, Remus doesn't think of me in that way. We're just friends. And that's the way it's going to stay. Part of me was sure I had heard him correctly. As I opened my drawer to grab a hairbrush, I realized something. I wasn't wearing my engagement ring, which I left on unless I took a shower.

Sirius had proposed to me a year before James and Lily's death, on October 31st, 1980. It was at Lily's annual Halloween party. Sadly, we never got the chance to marry. In that way, October 31st is a good day. But it's more of bad day than a good one. Instead of taking the hairbrush, I took a small red box out of the drawer. The ring sparkled in it. It was silver, with 3 diamonds on it, and I've loved it ever since the first time it was on my finger. I slipped it on, and layed down under my covers. I closed my eyes, thinking of Sirius...

**(This is a bit longer..the rest of the chapters should be longer. Title of Chapter from the song Just Like Heaven by The Cure)**


	3. Pictures and Toast

Chapter 3- Pictures and Embarrassment

"Natalie?" I opened my eyes, and looked around my room groggily. A smiling Ginny Weasley stood beside my bed. I sat up, "Hi Ginny," I had forgotten the Weasleys were here. "How are you?" "I'm ok…" She stopped mid sentence, and sat down at the foot of my bed, smile gone from her face. "I heard you crying…are you alright?" I sighed, "Not at all, actually." My reply surprised me, I normally would've said yes. "I'm sorry. Sirius was great." She had now idea of the real Sirius. The way he'd act in Grimmauld place wasn't the real Sirius. I laughed, as memories of my school days filled my head. "He could be so crazy sometimes. You should've seen him when we were at Hogwarts." The smile returned, "He must have been much different before Azkaban." "Yeah. He was much happier. This house also made him angry, he hated his family." "He was always happy around you, though." I grinned, and grabbed a picture album off of the nightstand. "Want to see some pictures from my seventh year?" Ginny nodded, and eagerly moved closer to where I sat.

I explained each picture to her. Most were of Remus, Sirius, James and Peter being idiotic. Seeing Remus in these pictures made me feel horrible. He had looked so different back then… Seeing Sirius made me smile, even laugh sometimes. But even as I laughed, I longed for him to be here, for him to laugh with me.

When we reached the final picture, I turned beet red. The picture showcased Sirius and I snogging in the Gryffindor Common room. I forgot that picture was in the album. Ginny laughed when she saw how embarrassed I was, "Who took that one?" I scowled. "James did. He thought it would be funny." My scowl turned into a smile as I looked back on that day. "I never understood it, but Sirius was not one bit embarrassed about that incident." Sirius didn't get embarrassed easily. _I, _on the other hand, did. "I loved him so much..." I said, more to myself than to Ginny. "I'm sorry." She said again, unnecessarily. "You have no how many times those words have been said to me. There's no need for it, the only person who really needs to apologize is Bellatrix Lestrange."

I hate Bellatrix Lestrange. I have since my first year at Hogwarts. She was horrible to anyone who wasn't in Slytherin. She was especially cruel to me since I dated her 'blood-traitor' cousin. "Why would anyone do that? Especially to their own cousin..." She quietly said. "All the Death Eaters will kill anyone who isn't loyal to Voldemort," Ginny flinched. "Even if means killing a member of your own family. But never mind this topic, let's go get some breakfast." I immediatly switched the topic, not wanting to go on. I got out of the bed, and stood up, letting out a yawn. "I already ate, but I'll come down with you." The redhead replied.

As we walked downstairs to the kitchen, I felt that familiar emptiness. I used to wake up to hear Sirius' voice coming from downstairs. Now I only imagined it. I wished that I would just wake up from this nightmare, and find Sirius sleeping beside me. But that'd never happen, who am I trying to fool? Sirius is gone; I'll see him when I die. When ever that happens.

When we reached the kitchen, I was relieved to find out that it was empty. I didn't want to be bombarded with the question "Are you ok?" No one (except for Remus) seemed to realize that they didn't need to ask me if I was ok every time they saw me. Ginny and I sat down at the table, and I wondered where everyone else is. I didn't think Ginny would know, and decided to comment on Molly Weasley's molly-coddling. "Your mum acts way too motherly to me sometimes." I grinned. "Sometimes?" Ginny scoffed. "More like all the time." I laughed and conjured toast with marmalade. That was my usual breakfast. I heard someone chuckle, and looked at the doorway.

I rolled my eyes when I saw that it was Remus. He teased me about my choice of food a lot. When we lived together, he'd always insist that I should start eating toast less often. "Natalie you always eat that." He grinned at me, the lines in his face smoothing out. "I eat other things to, toast just happens to be my favorite." "Whatever you say." I rolled my eyes once more and stood up, placing my toast on the plate. For some reason, I hugged Remus, and then kissed him on the cheek. I have no idea why I did it, I just had the urge to. I could see him blushing, as I held on to him. "Don't be embarrassed, it's not like you fancy me or anything." I let go of Remus, and sat back down. He muttered quietly. "You're right…" As I hungrily bit into my toast, I wondered why I was in such a good mood today.

I looked up at Remus, who was still blushing. "Come one Rem, sit down." I patted the chair beside mine. He obliged, and sat down. "Can I ask you guys something?" I exchanged worried looks with Remus. I really hoped she didn't ask if we had a 'thing'. If you get what I mean. "You guys always say how great your time at Hogwarts was. I was wondering if I could hear some stories about it..." I looked at Remus, who looked relieved. He must have thought the same thing as me. "Shall we tell her?" I smiled at him. "I suppose so." He returned the smile. I laughed, "Let me take you back to a time when Sirius and James were the height of cool..." This time, I didn't start crying.


End file.
